Ok, for the most part on here…when I say “sad” I don’t mean it like…

….I more so mean it like…

Because seriously, if you can’t laugh at yourself, especially at the ridiculous things that happen when you are single, then you really should become a mute mime and cry on the sidewalk terrifying the public.

But anyways….I digress. Last Sunday, in my singleness, whilst many of my coupled friends were eating, sleeping, shopping, or let’s be real, fucking their significant others, I was bored. So I wandered up to an estate sale that looked interesting. Yeah, that’s right. I go to estate sales….because you never know what you’ll find. And  that day it was a great story.

So often with estate sales they will be advertised with a few pictures to show a sense of what kind of sale is happening. I tend to steer away from the ones that look like France threw up on the house (and usually the stuff is actually real) and go more towards the eclectic sales. I did in fact notice that this sale included a picture of a rack of wedding dresses. Ok. Weird.

So I get there and I’m looking around, and it is a very weird mix of stuff. But yes, I see the rack of wedding gowns. And they’re not really nice gowns….they’re pretty much generic what I imagine would come from a sale at David’s Bridal. So I asked one of the women working the sale what the hell was going on with that…(and btw, she was an awesome Pink Haired Chef, who has an equally awesome blog about cooking: Culinary Adventures With Mariko )

So she tells me that a girl emailed prior to the sale asking about the dresses. She then shows up….falls madly in love with this $40 random dress, and declares that she has found the dress that she is going to marry the man of her dreams in! ANd you know the rest, readers…

Of course she was single. She wasn’t engaged. She wasn’t living with someone. She wasn’t dating someone. She wasn’t even dating ANYONE. She was as single as they come. (If that’s possible, because there is me, but I’ve never bought a wedding dress to put in my closet).  But what makes the story worth telling, is that before the poor girl walked out the door with her brand new used wedding gown, they bagged in for her in plastic. Only she stopped them and asked for a cover that wasn’t see thru. It wasn’t Barney’s sweetie! It was someone’s house. Nope….no.

So..let’s make some rule’s in the off-chance this ever happens to you or someone you know:

1. Don’t buy a wedding dress until you NEED it. It’s not like an LBD…you really never know when you will need that.
2. The exception to that rule is if you come across the most amazing (I mean, AMAZING) either vintage, designer, or better yet BOTH…dress and it is like $5. Sure. Then you can get it. Because then if you don’t end up wearing, it was only $5.
3. If in the off chance you do buy a wedding dress and you are SINGLE, at least own it! Own it, Gurl! Don’t cover it up…because who are you really hiding it from? The only person who it should matter to (YOURSELF) already knows.