Can’t We All Just Round Down?

Can’t We All Just Round Down?

Ok, so bear with me here. So you know how they say:

“The devil is in the details.”

And like, I’m not really sure who “they” is or whatever, but let’s think about that for a moment. I know it’s supposed to mean that like you should make sure every little detail of a task is accounted for and whatnot, but let’s think of how it in another way. Like what if it meant, fuck the details, fuck the specifics, that’s the devil’s business. Except we/you/I don’t really talk about “the devil,” do we?

So I guess the whole point I am leading up to is that we all need to Round Down a bit, an amazing expression my friend thought at brunch. I could tell you where we went, what we ordered, how long we sat for, etc, etc, etc….but do you really give a shit? And that’s my point. You don’t. And I know that. Continue reading

Overheard on the Underground

Oh, btw…I’m in London!!!


Really….mind the gap!

He made me slap it forever last night. That betta’ pay off!

– Random girl in the tube

Now, I am no aficionado on London Slang, but….pretty good bet that slap…..Yup, She sure must be a handy girl!!

Sad Single What Should I Be For Halloween?

Halloween! The time for couples to be obnoxious about their coupledom, and single girls to skankify there otherwise wholesome selfs. So I come to you fellow singles, successful couples, and all that in between, with the age old question:

What should I be for Halloween?

No, seriously! I am at such a I come to you my readers seeking guidance and a good, not too slutty, but yeah, slutty costume! So comment below, tweet me @sadainglegal, email me or come out of the bushes Gerald and just say it to my face! All ideas welcome, even you crazies put there…the winning idea will be worn by non-celebrity me!!!

Walk Like A Man, Talk Like A Man….

Come on, you all know the song! Especially from the AMAZING (or as I Happy Ending-ly like to say “AHMAZZING”) Robert Downey Jr. classic, Heart and Souls….

If you don’t know this movie….SEE it!!

So the other day at work, a writer came in. My boss was running late, so I was chatting with him about writing and whatnot…So he asks me what I write. I tell him I write about being single…about being single in LA. To which he HILARIOUSLY goes “Why are you single?” Hold the phone dude…are we in therapy? That’s on Tuesdays! Not Wednesdays! I wasn’t really offended or anything, I mean, he was in fact attempting to compliment me (not creepily, I think just in the “I’m a writer, I want to know what’s going on” type of way).

Well a few days later, I was sitting down to talk with someone else. This new friend is married with child, so when I was telling her about what I write (yeah, I talk about my blog a lot…I’m one of those people…I have a BLOG…), and we get to chatting about when she was single. And she says, “The secret is to think like a man.”

Now..before you go…oh- no- she -DI-dn’t…she did not just reference that shitatious STEVE HARVEY based movie that is billboarded all over!….she didn’t. Because that movie is about this book:

Nothing on this planet can compare with a woman’s love—it is kind and compassionate, patient and nurturing, generous and sweet and unconditional. Pure. If you are her man, she will walk on water and through a mountain for you, too, no matter how you’ve acted out, no matter what crazy thing you’ve done, no matter the time or demand. If you are her man, she will talk to you until there just aren’t any more words left to say, encourage you when you’re at rock bottom and think there just isn’t any way out, hold you in her arms when you’re sick, and laugh with you when you’re up. And if you’re her man and that woman loves you—I mean really loves you?—she will shine you up when you’re dusty, encourage you when you’re down, defend you even when she’s not so sure you were right, and hang on your every word, even when you’re not saying anything worth listening to. And no matter what you do, no matter how many times her friends say you’re no good, no matter how many times you slam the door on the relationship, she will give you her very best and then some, and keep right on trying to win over your heart, even when you act like everything she’s done to convince you she’s The One just isn’t good enough.
That’s a woman’s love—it stands the test of time, logic, and all circumstance. ”

        – Steve Harvey…just to give you a sample of the bullshit that is this book.

And please don’t go thinking the movie is any different. Take a look at the poster:

Wow….really? Let “THE MIND GAMES BEGIN“? Are you kidding me?

So, no, when she said think like a man, she meant it in neither of these ways. What she instead meant was, as ladies we so often take things SOOOOO ridiculously seriously. Every little thing we over think. So, sometimes, it is better to actually ‘think’ like a man…under think the situation and just have fun.

Yes this is a stock image entitled, TWO YOUNG MEN HAVING FUN IN BUSY BAR. So, point made.

Por ejemplo, use me as an example. But let’s time travel back to the days of yore…No, not last week…but some time back…that I met at a bar. A meet cute perhaps? Well, he was pretty cute. And he liked me…and I liked him. But if only I had thought like a man. And not in the whole notion of I am going to play a game to make him think I’m NOT playing a game game…you got it? No, because it is confusing. Basically, I was probably a little too much more normally “girly” self, and even if he liked me just as much as I liked him, I probably showed it a hell of a lot more…I do tend to wear my heart on my sleeve (funny…because today I literally am wearing a sweater with hearts on the sleeve).

girlfriends, are we really that different?

But in man mind, I think their hearts do tend to be a little more closed off, a little more reserved. Which is so much better! It’s like when you go to the flea market (I know all the guys that read this here, are like, duh, of course i know…) and you see something you really like. Well, you play it cool. I go up to the guy, ask how much it is, and when he answers back $25, I totally lowball with $16, even though I really want it. Because he also really wants me to buy it, so he’s probably going to let me have it for $20.

So rather than thinking of love as some game, or as the best karaoke song says “as a battlefield,” think of it as actually not showing all your cards at once. Because the longer you keep them hidden, the bigger the pot you might be able to win.

Wow! It looks like she won 2 guys!!

Let’s All Stop RUSH-ing to Judgement: In defense of Sluts and Birth Control Everywhere!

So to elaborate further on my post from the other day, In This Situation, I Will Gladly Be Called A Slut…, I wanted to explain my self a little further, rather than just saying bad and mean names at Rush Limbaugh for fun. But before I do: Fat, Stupid, Idiotic, Gross, Weaselly, Oily, Cantankerous, Hypocritical, Bald, Annoying, Closeminded, Asshole, Shithead, Loudmouth, Jackass.

Self-assured Prick!

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