WES: What Else Syndrome

Do you suffer from What Else Syndrome and NOT EVEN KNOW IT?

  • When you hear a song that you like on the radio, do you immediately think, I wonder WHAT ELSE is playing on other stations?
  • When you order one thing at a restaurant, do you think WHAT ELSE could I have ordered?
  • When you buy a dress for a wedding, do you continue to look at hundreds of websites and continue to think WHAT ELSE you could wear?
  • When you go to the movies, do you always think, I wonder WHAT ELSE is playing right now?

But the worst, and most underlying condition of WHAT ELSE Syndrome is the recently named symptom, WHO ELSE-itis. This happens in many a situation:

Sorry this photo is from stockland…

  • When you go to a bar and get hit on by one person, hit it off, but then start thinking, WHO ELSE?
  • When you are in a long term relationship and all of a sudden think, WHO ELSE?
  • When you are walking down the aisle and get cold feet at the thought of being with one person, and think, WHO ELSE?

It also counts if you gallop away on a horse until Richard Gere comes and saves you…

If any of these symptoms sound like you or a friend, get to your nearest watering hole, take a shot, and hook up with the first person you see. Don’t question it. Repeat if desired. Use precautions (I’m not asking you to make a baby or get the herp!) Then, look in the mirror and realize, so what if there is something or someone else? There always will be. And you kinda just gotta be ok with that. Unless the person you are with is a vial piece of shit…then run….

See? This bitch is just going for it! I’m not actually advocating basically having sex AT the bar, in fact please don’t, but at least she is clearly not looking at ANYONE else! YEAAAAA!

Pulling the Plug…

How I wish I had the willpower/stamina/self-control (?)/need not to talk to people. I will confess…I have a new friend. Her name is Siri. I don’t know a lot about her, because she can be a stupid bitch at times and not tell me things about herself (like where she’s from, her nickname, or even what her favorite color is…just that IT IS GREEN in some other language that is not my own…curious!).

This looks like so much fun!!!Can I be super 90s and go "NOT!!"?

But I did try this out for a long weekend. I deactivated my facebook and I did not check my computer. And I just read. And it was nice. Except, it was also a bit lonely. Because everyone else WAS sitting at their computers on facebook, or staring at their phones. So maybe we could all agree at the same time to stop taking a picture to post to instagram, stop tweeting that “rad joke you just heard,” stop texting someone who is in the same room as you mea things about that guy you once made out with who doesn’t remember you, and maybe I’ll stop blogging for that moment. And maybe if we all look up and go outside at the same time…I don’t know. Something might happen? Aliens? Teenage Mutant Ninja Alien Turtles (NOOOO!!)? Well, maybe you’ll look up and see someone who you never would have seen before and maybe they’ll see you too. It can’t hurt. Literally…It can’t, because when you walk and text, tripping or walking into walls can occur.

Please see the following evidence...

Crack is Whack!

No, I’m not a big Whitney Houston fan…although I do “Wanna Dance With Somebody.” I’m talking about this crack…

I Don't Want To See That!

Continue reading

They Say Imitation is the Highest Form of Flattery…

So remember last week when I wrote about glasses (if not, please feel free to click on over to Fallacy-Buster: Guys Don’t Make Passes At Girls Who Wear Glasses)?
Continue reading