Walk Like A Man, Talk Like A Man….

Come on, you all know the song! Especially from the AMAZING (or as I Happy Ending-ly like to say “AHMAZZING”) Robert Downey Jr. classic, Heart and Souls….

If you don’t know this movie….SEE it!!

So the other day at work, a writer came in. My boss was running late, so I was chatting with him about writing and whatnot…So he asks me what I write. I tell him I write about being single…about being single in LA. To which he HILARIOUSLY goes “Why are you single?” Hold the phone dude…are we in therapy? That’s on Tuesdays! Not Wednesdays! I wasn’t really offended or anything, I mean, he was in fact attempting to compliment me (not creepily, I think just in the “I’m a writer, I want to know what’s going on” type of way).

Well a few days later, I was sitting down to talk with someone else. This new friend is married with child, so when I was telling her about what I write (yeah, I talk about my blog a lot…I’m one of those people…I have a BLOG…), and we get to chatting about when she was single. And she says, “The secret is to think like a man.”

Now..before you go…oh- no- she -DI-dn’t…she did not just reference that shitatious STEVE HARVEY based movie that is billboarded all over!….she didn’t. Because that movie is about this book:

Nothing on this planet can compare with a woman’s love—it is kind and compassionate, patient and nurturing, generous and sweet and unconditional. Pure. If you are her man, she will walk on water and through a mountain for you, too, no matter how you’ve acted out, no matter what crazy thing you’ve done, no matter the time or demand. If you are her man, she will talk to you until there just aren’t any more words left to say, encourage you when you’re at rock bottom and think there just isn’t any way out, hold you in her arms when you’re sick, and laugh with you when you’re up. And if you’re her man and that woman loves you—I mean really loves you?—she will shine you up when you’re dusty, encourage you when you’re down, defend you even when she’s not so sure you were right, and hang on your every word, even when you’re not saying anything worth listening to. And no matter what you do, no matter how many times her friends say you’re no good, no matter how many times you slam the door on the relationship, she will give you her very best and then some, and keep right on trying to win over your heart, even when you act like everything she’s done to convince you she’s The One just isn’t good enough.
That’s a woman’s love—it stands the test of time, logic, and all circumstance. ”

        – Steve Harvey…just to give you a sample of the bullshit that is this book.

And please don’t go thinking the movie is any different. Take a look at the poster:

Wow….really? Let “THE MIND GAMES BEGIN“? Are you kidding me?

So, no, when she said think like a man, she meant it in neither of these ways. What she instead meant was, as ladies we so often take things SOOOOO ridiculously seriously. Every little thing we over think. So, sometimes, it is better to actually ‘think’ like a man…under think the situation and just have fun.

Yes this is a stock image entitled, TWO YOUNG MEN HAVING FUN IN BUSY BAR. So, point made.

Por ejemplo, use me as an example. But let’s time travel back to the days of yore…No, not last week…but some time back…that I met at a bar. A meet cute perhaps? Well, he was pretty cute. And he liked me…and I liked him. But if only I had thought like a man. And not in the whole notion of I am going to play a game to make him think I’m NOT playing a game game…you got it? No, because it is confusing. Basically, I was probably a little too much more normally “girly” self, and even if he liked me just as much as I liked him, I probably showed it a hell of a lot more…I do tend to wear my heart on my sleeve (funny…because today I literally am wearing a sweater with hearts on the sleeve).

girlfriends, are we really that different?

But in man mind, I think their hearts do tend to be a little more closed off, a little more reserved. Which is so much better! It’s like when you go to the flea market (I know all the guys that read this here, are like, duh, of course i know…) and you see something you really like. Well, you play it cool. I go up to the guy, ask how much it is, and when he answers back $25, I totally lowball with $16, even though I really want it. Because he also really wants me to buy it, so he’s probably going to let me have it for $20.

So rather than thinking of love as some game, or as the best karaoke song says “as a battlefield,” think of it as actually not showing all your cards at once. Because the longer you keep them hidden, the bigger the pot you might be able to win.

Wow! It looks like she won 2 guys!!

SadSingleGal Was Stood Up! Then TUI-ed (Texted Under the Influence)

So you all must be waiting with bated breath….SadSingleGal Was Stood Up! So what the hell happened? Read on! Continue reading

Let’s All Stop RUSH-ing to Judgement: In defense of Sluts and Birth Control Everywhere!

So to elaborate further on my post from the other day, In This Situation, I Will Gladly Be Called A Slut…, I wanted to explain my self a little further, rather than just saying bad and mean names at Rush Limbaugh for fun. But before I do: Fat, Stupid, Idiotic, Gross, Weaselly, Oily, Cantankerous, Hypocritical, Bald, Annoying, Closeminded, Asshole, Shithead, Loudmouth, Jackass.

Self-assured Prick!

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I Resolve…

Yeah. I know. It’s January 12th. I am a big, major, lazy, no good, horrible, very bad (get it?? I should go to Australia…haha) slacker of a blogger. Yeah…I haven’t posted in a while. But everyone needs a break once in a while, so let’s just say I extended my vacation just a wee bit (and no, I didn’t go to Scotland or Ireland or Some-land where they say wee…I just like to say WEE).

"And I'm back in the game....!"

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SadSingleGal Gets a Phone Call…

FROM A BOY!!!!! I know….pretty exciting, right? Funny thing is though, I had no clue at the time it was even happening. Which you are reading that and going, what, um, how, what…um, explain?

So if you recall, I “Dear SSG”-ed myself (I already have a blog called The Sad Adventures of A Single Gal…so there really is no shame) about a guy I was interested in and had met at a party. Well, I took the advice of a friend and actually wrote this guy a note. I stuck it in his mailbox at work, and heard nothing back. I then proceeded to completely forget about the guy, the note, and the situation in general….(I was in Hawaii after all- I am getting to that, I promise. I have just been busy!)

Can I go back, please? No really!

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