The OkCupid Message To Top All Others

I’m not even sure what else I can say…just…just read it for yourself. It’s AMAHZING. In so many ways. Amahzing.

 

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Party Rockin’ on Your Phone Tonight: Sad Message-palooza

You know those nights when you walk in to da club and you are just on fire???!! No, me either. But I’ve seen lots of movies and TV shows where this has happened and heard accounts from much less single (or WAY more single..wink wink) friends. I am mostly kidding… I really am just talking about when you go out, you feel great, you look great, and the attention that follows seems to verify that. You are ON!

I imagine those nights to be like this..right?

I imagine those nights to be like this..right?

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Sad (and Stalky…is that even a word?) Message #8

Ok, I’m sorry if you are going, “Give him a chance! Whatever! He could be nice!” Well, first off why is his picture (I assume) of him in the dark waving? No. And just the whole non punctuated “I know this is random” thing is a tad weird, like I am just going to, what cyber fuck with you dude? No….well, anyways, here’s hoping we can be friends I never see you lurking in my bushes!

Sad (and ok, I’ll be a bit Shallow) Message #7

So, #1 with this message, I got it on Saturday night, when I was out with friends. Not that I am glamorous or anything…in fact, I was trying to find the write guy to drop Carly Rae Jepsen’s “Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy, but here’s my number, so call me, maybe?” on….to be discussed at another time, possibly later on today, as I was not yet able to even get the words out (even though I had phone number in hand well, back pocket…

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Unfortunate Cookie

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Too bad I get this the night I’m sick with a fever…and “just my luck” (that’s for all you closeted Lindsay Lohan fans out there!) I didn’t even get a Bradley Cooper or Ryan Gosling sighting in my dream.