Sad Single Quote: You’ve Got Mail

Don’t you love New York in the fall? It makes me wanna buy school supplies. I would send you a bouquet of newly sharpened pencils if I knew your name and address. On the other hand, this not knowing has its charms.

    – Joe Fox (Tom Hanks)

I wish someone would send me a bouquet of newly sharpened pencils…..

Walk Like A Man, Talk Like A Man….

Come on, you all know the song! Especially from the AMAZING (or as I Happy Ending-ly like to say “AHMAZZING”) Robert Downey Jr. classic, Heart and Souls….

If you don’t know this movie….SEE it!!

So the other day at work, a writer came in. My boss was running late, so I was chatting with him about writing and whatnot…So he asks me what I write. I tell him I write about being single…about being single in LA. To which he HILARIOUSLY goes “Why are you single?” Hold the phone dude…are we in therapy? That’s on Tuesdays! Not Wednesdays! I wasn’t really offended or anything, I mean, he was in fact attempting to compliment me (not creepily, I think just in the “I’m a writer, I want to know what’s going on” type of way).

Well a few days later, I was sitting down to talk with someone else. This new friend is married with child, so when I was telling her about what I write (yeah, I talk about my blog a lot…I’m one of those people…I have a BLOG…), and we get to chatting about when she was single. And she says, “The secret is to think like a man.”

Now..before you go…oh- no- she -DI-dn’t…she did not just reference that shitatious STEVE HARVEY based movie that is billboarded all over!….she didn’t. Because that movie is about this book:

Nothing on this planet can compare with a woman’s love—it is kind and compassionate, patient and nurturing, generous and sweet and unconditional. Pure. If you are her man, she will walk on water and through a mountain for you, too, no matter how you’ve acted out, no matter what crazy thing you’ve done, no matter the time or demand. If you are her man, she will talk to you until there just aren’t any more words left to say, encourage you when you’re at rock bottom and think there just isn’t any way out, hold you in her arms when you’re sick, and laugh with you when you’re up. And if you’re her man and that woman loves you—I mean really loves you?—she will shine you up when you’re dusty, encourage you when you’re down, defend you even when she’s not so sure you were right, and hang on your every word, even when you’re not saying anything worth listening to. And no matter what you do, no matter how many times her friends say you’re no good, no matter how many times you slam the door on the relationship, she will give you her very best and then some, and keep right on trying to win over your heart, even when you act like everything she’s done to convince you she’s The One just isn’t good enough.
That’s a woman’s love—it stands the test of time, logic, and all circumstance. ”

        – Steve Harvey…just to give you a sample of the bullshit that is this book.

And please don’t go thinking the movie is any different. Take a look at the poster:

Wow….really? Let “THE MIND GAMES BEGIN“? Are you kidding me?

So, no, when she said think like a man, she meant it in neither of these ways. What she instead meant was, as ladies we so often take things SOOOOO ridiculously seriously. Every little thing we over think. So, sometimes, it is better to actually ‘think’ like a man…under think the situation and just have fun.

Yes this is a stock image entitled, TWO YOUNG MEN HAVING FUN IN BUSY BAR. So, point made.

Por ejemplo, use me as an example. But let’s time travel back to the days of yore…No, not last week…but some time back…that I met at a bar. A meet cute perhaps? Well, he was pretty cute. And he liked me…and I liked him. But if only I had thought like a man. And not in the whole notion of I am going to play a game to make him think I’m NOT playing a game game…you got it? No, because it is confusing. Basically, I was probably a little too much more normally “girly” self, and even if he liked me just as much as I liked him, I probably showed it a hell of a lot more…I do tend to wear my heart on my sleeve (funny…because today I literally am wearing a sweater with hearts on the sleeve).

girlfriends, are we really that different?

But in man mind, I think their hearts do tend to be a little more closed off, a little more reserved. Which is so much better! It’s like when you go to the flea market (I know all the guys that read this here, are like, duh, of course i know…) and you see something you really like. Well, you play it cool. I go up to the guy, ask how much it is, and when he answers back $25, I totally lowball with $16, even though I really want it. Because he also really wants me to buy it, so he’s probably going to let me have it for $20.

So rather than thinking of love as some game, or as the best karaoke song says “as a battlefield,” think of it as actually not showing all your cards at once. Because the longer you keep them hidden, the bigger the pot you might be able to win.

Wow! It looks like she won 2 guys!!

I Want to See This Movie Like Crazy

Sorry I haven’t posted anything in a few days…as one of my loyal followers you must be clamoring for my delightful self deprecating stories. So to hold you over until I have something wonderfully witty for you, I am sharing with you this utterly amazing looking movie, Like Crazy…as in I love you like crazy, I miss you like crazy, I want to see this movie like crazy… Continue reading

Does Love Really Make You “Crazy, Stupid”?

Well, I think we can all answer that with a resounding “HELL, YES!!” Even like, or lust makes you into a crazy, stupid idiot. If you didn’t “act a fool” about the girl/guy/transgendered you are involved with then, you probably should reevaluate your relationship status…and I don’t just mean saying you are “complicated” on the ole facebook.

Finally! A movie poster without a teacher wearing Louboutins! Bad Teacher...I'm lookin at you!

Continue reading

The Science of Friends With Benefits…or FWBs

So there are some “benefits”…(haha, not really) to being an assistant, although, I did just return from a free pre screening of Friends With Benefits. Okay, before you groan, and say, “I saw that movie 6 months ago with Natalie Portman and that dude that married Demi Moore. It was called No Strings Attached,” think again. I was actually so presently surprised..I laughed…it was cute…it felt real… Continue reading