Driving Ms. Crazy

Damn it! I left my tiara at home!

Have you ever had one of those amazing girls nights with a friend that just leaves you feeling, oh I don’t know, somehow more clear, more at peace, just satisfied? Well obviously I did (the other night in fact) or I wouldn’t be writing about it now. And for all of you Los Angelenos out there reading this, may I suggest Ugo Wine Bar in Culver City as a great location for one of these-esque nights. It would even be a lovely date locale…if I could ever get a date!

But that brings me back to my original thought…having a great time with a gal pal. Whatever happened to that? (I am going to go down a really corny tangent for a bit, so please, just bear with me.) So on the drive to meet my friend, the typical after work time where of course you get behind every slow person possible, I did in fact get behind every slow person possible. And every horrible illogical driver!

My thoughts exactly!

One guy would speed right through the stop signs (where you are in fact supposed to STOP) and then drive 15 MPH in between them. Another woman was THAT woman who stays in the left hand lane even though she is going so incredibly slow that she even manages to break through green lights!

So this got me thinking about when I was in drivers training. My mom signed me up for these horrible one on one lessons with one of those creepy dudes who “runs a driving school.” The type of person that is incredible proud of his car with not one, but TWO steering wheels in it. If you don’t know the type, consider yourself lucky, because this dude was “whack,” and I am sure if my parents really thought about their 16-year-old daughter driving off with this creep, they might have reconsidered.

This is clearly an incredibly fake stock image because NOBODY is every that happy to be in a car with a driving instructor!

So my driving instructor, in between trying to impress me with the ongoing drama of his ex-girlfriend who he was still in love with that had gotten pregnant, but he was considering helping her raise the baby (yeah…not making this up, although maybe he was), would try to teach me driving. And I remember one of the more annoying things he would repeatedly impart on me. You know when you are approaching an intersection, and you can see the light is red. He would always be like, why do you need to hurry up to go nowhere? Just slow down once you see the red light, even if it is really far away. Which, to this day, I still find incredibly annoying, because dude, who knows when that light is going to change? I could be 100 feet closer to where I need to be if only I had sat and waited, and not slowed on down, creepy driving instructor.

Roxanne, you don't have to put on the red light. Those days are over. You don't have to sell your body to the night...Was I the only one thinking this? Really?

But, as I was driving home from my lovely gal time the other night (this is where the real corniness is going to flood in), I was kind of struck by that notion of what the creepo driving teacher was saying, but not in a driving sense. I think in many ways I am like the car (oh brother, even I am rolling my eyes) that has raced to the red light and has just been sitting there waiting for the light to turn green. And you know what? The light seems to be broken. I have been sitting there for a while.

What I should be doing is taking my time. The light will change when it should, right? I should be…enjoying the ride (see how that one worked out?). If you aren’t catching on to my corny analogies, I am talking about men/dating/etc. And I think it is advice we can all take. It is like there is some rule book out there that says when you hit a certain age you must start dating someone.

Anyone else notice that the rose colored glass kind of looks like red light? HMMM!! Just saying!

But honestly, rules are meant to be broken (ok, I just barfed). So, when I look around and see so many friends becoming joined at the hip with their boy, I of course have felt like, wait, where’s mine? But now I realize, that attitude is probably what is preventing it.

Someone made this NSFW Justin Bieber/ Selena Gomez conjoined statue...it is too creepy to post it all. You can look up the image of Biebez and see it for yourself...but realize how true it is. They are like a conjoined pair!

So no more rushing through life to get to the next step. Just enjoy what you have and the period of life you are in. Appreciate what you can, because who knows how you will feel 20 years from now looking back. But, I say, don’t be a dick and drive really slow up to an actual red light. Speed up to that thing and wait for it to turn green. Hey, you never now what hottie might be in the car next to you….

Oh Baby!!

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