The Crazy Adventures of My Yellow Purse!

So remember a few months ago I was in London, and had a miserable one night stand (jack rabbiting is the worst), followed by the most mortifying walk of shame through the city…as I had no clue where I was (my SIM card had died) and worst of all, my bag had gone missing (no money or keys..ahhh)!

Ahh, my lovely Yellow Purse!!

Ahh, my lovely Yellow Purse!!

Well, I figured things out with the phone, and said jack rabbiter graciously provided me a WHOLE 11 pounds to navigate a city I had never been in before….and I presumed my purse was long gone. Especially after I heard back from the London Transit Authority that nothing had been turned in…

I love it so much I even get Sorbet to match!

I love it so much I even get Sorbet to match!

So, surprise, surprise when I get an email last week entitled “YELLOW BAG.” And wait, to top that…guess who found it? A VICAR!

A whater? You read that right! A Vicar…a parish priest in the Church of England…although all I can think about is the episode of Friends with Rachel’s Book:

Well, I guess that makes sense though…that if my purse WAS to be found, months and months after it actually mattered, and months and months after I had given up all hope and just assumed it was thrown away (minus the 20 or so pounds inside…) that a man of the church would bring it back to me….not that I belong to said church…but the best part would be that I didn’t even realize he was a Vicar until I sent along his email saying he had my purse to my friend for a laugh (how are you wondering did he have my email….I always carry my SAD SINGLE Business Cards wherever I go…so the vicar did indeed email SSG and not the personal me…) and SHE pointed out the funny truth:

A VICAR found your bag!!!! Hahahahaha! If only he’d known what you were up to when it went missing!!! Hahaha!!!!

Damn straight….literally…I would most likely be damned. Probably am already….Oh well!

SSG’s Fables: The Tortoise and the Hare

So I hope you all remember Aesop’s Fables, and the one about the Tortoise and the Hare. Basically, the Hare (rabbit, bunny…what have you) ran ahead of the Tortoise (turtle…any other names??) so confident in his speed, that he plopped himself down before the finish. And who won the race? The slow one. The turtle. The TORTOISE.

Men, Gentlemen, FELLOWS. People of the opposite sex, lend me your ears err, attention, just for a moment. I know you didn’t all watch Sex and the City. So you might not know this infamous “Jack Rabbit” scene: Continue reading