The Crazy Adventures of My Yellow Purse!

So remember a few months ago I was in London, and had a miserable one night stand (jack rabbiting is the worst), followed by the most mortifying walk of shame through the city…as I had no clue where I was (my SIM card had died) and worst of all, my bag had gone missing (no money or keys..ahhh)!

Ahh, my lovely Yellow Purse!!

Ahh, my lovely Yellow Purse!!

Well, I figured things out with the phone, and said jack rabbiter graciously provided me a WHOLE 11 pounds to navigate a city I had never been in before….and I presumed my purse was long gone. Especially after I heard back from the London Transit Authority that nothing had been turned in…

I love it so much I even get Sorbet to match!

I love it so much I even get Sorbet to match!

So, surprise, surprise when I get an email last week entitled “YELLOW BAG.” And wait, to top that…guess who found it? A VICAR!

A whater? You read that right! A Vicar…a parish priest in the Church of England…although all I can think about is the episode of Friends with Rachel’s Book:

Well, I guess that makes sense though…that if my purse WAS to be found, months and months after it actually mattered, and months and months after I had given up all hope and just assumed it was thrown away (minus the 20 or so pounds inside…) that a man of the church would bring it back to me….not that I belong to said church…but the best part would be that I didn’t even realize he was a Vicar until I sent along his email saying he had my purse to my friend for a laugh (how are you wondering did he have my email….I always carry my SAD SINGLE Business Cards wherever I go…so the vicar did indeed email SSG and not the personal me…) and SHE pointed out the funny truth:

A VICAR found your bag!!!! Hahahahaha! If only he’d known what you were up to when it went missing!!! Hahaha!!!!

Damn straight….literally…I would most likely be damned. Probably am already….Oh well!

Hope You all Had a Sexy V-Day…

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….and not a “Oh, shit I really want to have sex, so I’m cool with VD.” Also all you Women of LA  believers, maybe this is one of the reasons you ain’t getting laid? You’re too cheap to get a Costco membership with your friends and buy a jumbo sized box?

Sad Single Gal of the Day: Jennifer Aniston


For all you Jennifer Aniston haters out there- SUCK IT! Let her be happy! She got screwed over by Angie’s demon vag that snapped away her hubby and has been the fodder of the tabloids for YEARS! Example:

Well, as anyone who knew me growing up could tell you, I have always be a fan of Ms. Aniston. I even had a really ill-fated attempt at a “Rachel” that just did not quite look as good on me….

But Jen has proved to us SSGs that if you hold your head up high, that one day a guy will like it enough to put a ring on it again !!! (Now, can i question the whole men proposing on their birthday thing? Is it to make remembering that anniversary easier?? Huh???)

To the FUTURE Patron Saint of Sad Single Gals, L’Chaim!


101 Reasons I Am Sad And [Still] Single

In honor of writing my 100th post on Friday, which now means that this is my 101 post…which just makes me think of 101 Dalmations….which of course makes me think of Cruella de Vil…which of course makes me think of dying alone…I bring you 101 Reasons I Am Sad And [Still] Single.

Oh, this crazy bitch had no one that loved her either....

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SadSingleGal Was Stood Up! Then TUI-ed (Texted Under the Influence)

So you all must be waiting with bated breath….SadSingleGal Was Stood Up! So what the hell happened? Read on! Continue reading