So great…basically a list of why I should be happy I can be selfish and standoffish, and not want others in my space or to touch my things. Exactly why I LOVE being single!! It’s kind of like when you don’t have a date for a wedding, and everyone is like, “It’s ok, maybe there will be a hot guy there you can hook up with!” And then you get to the singles table filled with old aunts and cousins that are 13.
I’m not kidding. This is real. It exists. It is not a joke. It is real….
And as I write this, I am watching Hoda and Kathie Lee tell me I need to change my attitude…thanks ladies!! I’m sure by next National Singles Week, I will be planning my wedding!!!
So friends, hopefully you are already drunkenly ensconced in your Cinco de Mayo festivities!! But to all you single ladies out there, happy Single de Mayo!! Drink up, have fun, and be safe.. And sexy!
Because I am clearly in the market for an engagement ring….
Thanks for that additional reminder that I am hopelessly single, Facebook. Just what I need when I am already constantly being reminded about engagements, and weddings, and babies, and blah blah blahhhhhhh…..
AT least this ad is a tad more spot on for the average single lady….
So it’s almost September! Summer’s almost over, and I’m guessing you didn’t succeed in the whole “boyfriend by labor day thing” that your mind had planned…
So what now? Get drunk, and hookup at all your labor day BBQs? No!! Stay classy my friends! Because who knows? Maybe you need to set a new goal? Boyfriend by Rosh Hashanah? Boyfriend by Columbus Day?
At the very least, just don’t regret your partying, and STAY HYDRATED!!! No one wants to hook up with the drunken mess unless they are looking to date rape you….rut roh (and no, that does not count as your new boyfriend!!)
Yes, we ALL hate Venereal Diseases (at least I hope we ALL do), but when I say VD I mean Valentine’s Day. My friend sent me this just moments ago (and please note, friend is in a nice healthy relationship, and should like Valentine’s Day):
So, SUCK IT card company’s and drug stores! Ugly fat babies aren’t cute, they are creepy…and chocolate makes you FAT!!