A Girl Walks Into A Bar

…looks around, sees that the person she is meeting isn’t there yet, freaks a little, and then pulls out her phone. Yes, this is you! Don’t even try to deny it. I’m not. I will openly admit that I will even pretend (yeah, pretend) to be looking at important emails (see mom and dad, acting classes did pay off!) when I am really twittering, facebooking, wordpressing, etc. Continue reading

A Sad Single Gal Gets on a Plane

As I am sitting at the airport waiting to board my red eye home for Memorial Day weekend, I am struck with the single gal aspect of getting onto a plane. How many movies, or tv shows, or books (yeah, I read…chic lit, but that still counts!) have you seen/read/or in my mom’s case heard, where desperate single gal gets on a plane and somehow the love of her life sits right down next to her?

Probably every time you have seen a plane and a single person combined together in a work of fiction, that’s how many! But for some reason ever time I step onto a plane, the love of my life seems to have taken a different flight. In college, it was worse. The airline I would fly most often was Southwest. In those days, Southwest didn’t have the fancy number system they have now. So I would get there early, get on the plane and then pray that some hot guy wouldn’t pass me by. Of course I always got the fat old men in unironic Hawaiian shirts that talked to me about their daughters- ugh, I don’t give a shit and get your fat off of me!

I also have a weird superstition (not that I really follow it or anything, but, hey…). You know when you are switching your seat when you check in online. What if your original seat was next to TLOYL (the love of your life)? What if you just royally fucked that up? But like I said, I don’t really buy into my own superstition, I just worry about it (getting an aisle seat is far too important).

But the worst thing about flying as a single gal is when you get stuck in a row with “that couple.” Oh, you know that couple I am talking about! They are too cute, cuddle and annoying and make you want to barf, and they also bicker with each other, which makes you want to hit them even more. And more often than not, they are ill prepared to travel, peeking over at what I am watching on my ipad. And as I write this waiting patiently for my plane to board, there is the most annoying girl speaking baby talk loud enough that I can hear it and leaning all over her boyfriend. Get a room! Oh wait…grrrrr!!!!