I’m sure you’ve all heard of PTSD, Post Traumatic STRESS Disorder. Well, guess what, medical community….

I’ve discovered a new medical condition! Post Traumatic TEXT Disorder…Yup! PTTD. You know exactly what I am talking about. Don’t try to give me that shrug and go, wha…I don’t know what you mean….

So let’s just say you (you being the operative term for me, ole SSG, I guess) meet a guy. You (once again, me….) have a lovely, fun, flirtatious evening with said guy…possibly even a little make out sesh…(I know…hot and heavy for me…). So, like a wise SingleGal of the world, you give le man your number (ladies, this is the moment where it is better to give than receive). And of course fresh off your make out high, the pings of the textual intercourse exchange go back and forth without the worry of “Oh lord, what the fuck did I just write?” ever crossing your mind.

And then you don’t see le douche for a few days, and the exchange slows….You realize it is you initiating. And then it happens…..

Out of the blue….

You get peer pressured into it….

You send a dumb ass text without thinking…

It’s not even anything real, just a checking in, “Hey!” kind of thing….

But of course you have an iphone and he clearly doesn’t and you can’t see if it says delivered and why isn’t your phone vibrating and is your phone dead? is someone else calling? are you out of signal? did your text go through? has it ONLY been 3 minutes? why did you do that? THAT WAS SOOO STUPID! He’s going to think you’re an idiot! A STALKER! A MORON….A LOSER. A FREAK. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

And then you don’t hear anything. nothing. nada. So you turn your phone off. Still in the hopes that when you wake up the next morning their will be a miraculous text explaining why, oh, why someone would dare ignore you…

but no….

nothing. NADA.

And that my fine readers, is the sad truth of PTTD. If you haven’t had it, then I don’t believe you live in this world with cellphones, email, and the hellish technological world we exist in. So next time you text…