Part II: Long Distance Dud

Well the name of this post kind of gives away what happened, huh? Let’s rewind and review…like we were on a tv show and an announcer was saying “on last week’s adventure…..”

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So, my manicurist set me up with a guy in Philly…we went out….we went out again….high school made out Titanic style….and then came time for me to return home to LA….

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Looking to Nail Someone? Ask your Manicurst!

Looking to Nail Someone? Ask your Manicurst!

So, I’m going to be honest. I am a little behind on stories (aka my life) so I am just going to get the most recent one off my chest/ brain/ heart (bleghhhh) and then go from there….

Well, I mentioned a few weeks back that I had an interesting make out in a car, a make out that felt so high school it could only have happened in front of my parents’ home. Well there is a reason for that. See…my mother has been getting her nails done by the same woman for over 27 years. Wait, aren’t you 27, SSG? Yes, I am. My mother has been seeing the same manicurist since I was an egg and a sperm. Loyalty…yes.

So, whenever I go home, my mom books me an appointment with this manicurist, who I love dearly. And since she loves me dearly, she would like me to settle down with a NJG (nice Jewish guy) not in Los Angeles, where I actually live, but in Philadelphia. And of course she had someone in mind. Because when I walked in one Black Friday, the manicurist gave me the normal guilt trip,but also had the mother of a NJG sitting and waiting for her nails to dry.

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And then in walks MY mother….not the braggy type at all, who apparently went on a 30 minute braggy rant about me to some Jewish mom in the nail salon while I got a Pedicure. Let me know if you need a break from the overwhelming Jewlarity of all this.

Well, somehow this NJG’s mom was impressed by me, but not by the fact that I lived across the country. Smart lady! (whoops…foreshadowing??) So she left with her dry nails, and I proceeded to get the 18th degree (see what I did there?) about my lack thereof a love life in LA and why I need to move back to Philly.

As my mom and I got into the car, the manicurist texted my mom in excitement. “NJG wants to go out with SSG!” Ok, I figured what the hell…it’s not like any NJGs, or even Gs (guys) are beating down my door in LA to go out. Why not? So after receiving a phone call from NJG (guys, a PHONE CALL…as in NOT A TEXT) we planned to meet up for drinks that night. And I had a really nice time. Like way nicer than most first dates usually go. Maybe it was because my expectations were lowered because I had nothing to loose, or maybe it was just because I really liked him…

….I already wrote about date number two, so you know how that goes. But why don’t I split this up a bit and leave you on your seats…begging for more…wanting to know what could have possibly happened….To be continued

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Men Confuse Me…Even in Thailand

Especially in Thailand.

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My friend (who I miss dearly…come back!!!) sent me this missive from her travels the other day: Continue reading

Switch Day

So I have said this before, but I went to overnight camp. In fact, I loved overnight camp. It was wonderful. It was an all girls camp, and it was this magical place that you would escape into for 8 weeks of the summer and not really care how you looked, what you wore, if you were being crazy, if people looked at you while you were being crazy, and it was a blast! We dressed in pajamas all day long, and our hair was a frizzy mess most of the time (being that it was a mostly Jewish camp!), we sang and danced on our tables in the dining halls, and we just DID NOT ever care!

This isn’t from my camp, but it could have been…I have many a picture that look JUST like this.

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Sad Single Gal of the Day: The iMessage Icon

Because really what’s more sad and lonely than this little icon when no red marker appears all weekend long…because you know you are trying to convince yourself you aren’t waiting for Mr. I’m So Not Thinking About Him to text. But you clearly are! And the worst is when your friend with her lovely, wonderful BF keeps getting texts all night long…all weekend long…barf….

So here’s to dreaming of a day where my imessage icon will go from sad to fab!!

maybe that’s from him??? But it’s probably from my mom….

 

(thank you to my no longer sad or single sister for forever being the spellcheck police….)

PTTD: Post Traumatic Text Disorder

 

I’m sure you’ve all heard of PTSD, Post Traumatic STRESS Disorder. Well, guess what, medical community….

I have had all these events….from sending a text!!

I’ve discovered a new medical condition! Post Traumatic TEXT Disorder…Yup! PTTD. You know exactly what I am talking about. Don’t try to give me that shrug and go, wha…I don’t know what you mean…. Continue reading

SadSingleGal Was Stood Up! Then TUI-ed (Texted Under the Influence)


So you all must be waiting with bated breath….SadSingleGal Was Stood Up! So what the hell happened? Read on! Continue reading