Ok, Natalie Portman…I understand. You wanted a traditional Jewish wedding dress. So for some reason you decided to wear a reject Bat Mitzvah dress from 1953/an Amish party dress/ a life size American Girl Doll outfit that you wear at the same time your doll does when you go to American Girl Doll Place at the Grove. Somehow with all her money, fame, prettiness, she managed to look like this:

Now if this doesn’t scream child bride, I don’t know what does! Is this a reject costume from Big Love?

Well, Natalie…and your heinous dress…all I have to say, is thank god you are no longer single! Because this dress….Just NO! NOPE!

And for any one out there going, whatever, it was for religious reasons, I am actually going to stand up for a Trump right now….Ivanka…who converted to Judaism, and then wore this religiously appropriate dress, that is also beautiful:

Much more Grace Kelly, as opposed to Natalie in her dress up nightgown look