Overheard at the Rosh Hashanah Table

The less you have to pay for a ticket for services, the more of a meat market it is.

Off to my free service!

Introducing The Sad Single Closure Card

Ok…so last night I post about comment cards, and how I basically wish I could hand people them after dating explodes or basically more often in my case, the bomb doesn’t even go off (womp womp). So, I was showing it to my new thrift buddy (yeah…have I not mentioned my thrifting and Martha Stewartiness before…pretty sure I have. Well, we bonded over our love of the abfab Emily Henderson. We love you, Emily!)

So, I am showing Thrifty the Dating comment card I made and she goes, “It’s a closure card!” DUHHHHHHH!!!! So, introducing to you all, the new and improved, Sad Single Closure Card- ready to be printed out and handed to that lame jackass who broke your heart, or maybe just broke your wine glass.

Closure….

Either way, get some closure.
Just not like this:

A Comment Card for Dating?

Well, I was at a spa the other day. My life isn’t usually that fun or glamorous, but luckily enough I had signed up o the right email list and gotten some cheap deal and was reaping those rewards for an inundated inbox. So, I am getting dressed (and, yes, I’ll admit, looking for whatever free shit I could take. Hey, you would too!) when I notice at the sink, there is a stack if comment cards and a pen. (And no, before you ask, I DIDN’T take the pen).

Hopefully most are more helpful than this…

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Sad Single Gal of the Day: Scarlett “Scarjo” Johansson

So this might be wild speculation, or facts…and as any of us learned from Aaron Sorkin’s Newsroom, you need two (count it 2 sources) to validate a story! So, apparently the couple that no one every really gave a shit about or thought was that real, especially since their movie The Green Goblin Shirt Mumbler Sexiest Man Alive Lantern tanked and they then apparently went and Topped That by buying a house together (?) in Bedford, NY (??) of all places!

This is as conservative as Blake/Serena gets…hey! her legs ARE covered…technically

But you might recall that Mr. Reynolds was married once before….hmmm….younger, blonde, actress…someone has a type!! Blake isn’t the first Mrs. Reynolds! That honor belongs to no other than Scarlett Johansson, who divorced Ryan in 2010 after two years of marriage.

um, ok….?

But Scarlett’s week isn’t just sucking because her ex husband has moved on! No, apparently last week Scarho “reunited” with her ex BOYFRIEND, Jordan CatalonoJared Leto at the DNC:

 

But then mere hours after the world found out the Ryan legally replaced his Scarjo with another ho, The Daily Mail in the UK run this lovely headline:

Awww….poor little red!

Sad Single Quote: You’ve Got Mail

Don’t you love New York in the fall? It makes me wanna buy school supplies. I would send you a bouquet of newly sharpened pencils if I knew your name and address. On the other hand, this not knowing has its charms.

    – Joe Fox (Tom Hanks)

I wish someone would send me a bouquet of newly sharpened pencils…..

Sad Single Gal of the Day: Nazanin Boniadi

Who? Who the fuck is Nanazin Boniadi? Well, according to Vanity Fair, she was actually supposed to be Mrs. Tom Cruise #3 instead of Katie Holmes! But who is she? Well, actually you might recognize her from either How I Met Your Mother, where she played Barney’s girlfriend, Nora, or General Hospital, where she was Leyla Mir (I don’t know what she did on it though…as I don’t watch)….

 

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