So, the other day, over drinks (OBVI!!), my friend and I were discussing our (ugh, our….can you really even bother to call these guys our…blerg) “men” situations. Which led to us discussing, what else, but the only way we seem to communicate with members of the opposite sex nowadays..TEXTS! Which led to us both actually reading out loud our text convos (with voices and inflections, of course) to each other. Which led to her noticing that the dude’s number was NOT programmed into my phone…
WHY, might you ask? Because of…THE NUMBER GAMES! (my attempt to make an allegory of this situation to the hunger games…bare with me).
So I kind of have done this forever (forever being equivalent to the amount of time I have had a cell phone + plus dated). I hate the whole having to erase a contact/have someone in your phone to be a reminder that they stopped calling/ anything else. So, basically, you don’t get programmed into my phone unless you matter. Unless you prove your self. Unless you win…the NUMBER GAMES! (I think I just like saying that)
So, clearly I am aware that this is all a delusion and it is honestly just a coping mechanism (yeah, I go to therapy…what, what) for being disappointed. But I think it is also a helpful think as well…see there are two ways you could look at this:
1. I am putting a wall up and not really letting someone into my life.
2. I am not getting too close on purpose so that I can play hard too get.
Make sense? No? Ok, I’ll try to explain better. So let’s say I’m at a bar…I give a guy my number. He texts me. I put his name in…maybe I have already facebook stalked him and found his name or he is Adam CelticsFan (Larry David!!) So we start texting back and forth. And maybe it’s going well, maybe it dwindles. But when I am bored that one night, and go to text someone to see who is avail, who’s name do I see? Adam PhilliesFan! Making me MUCH more likely to just randomly send a dumb ass “Hey, whatcha up to…I’m clearly desperate” text. And then never hear from him again.
SO let’s say in the other situation, Joe FromTexas texts me, BUT this time I don’t put his number in. So, it’s really just going to blend in with all the other non programmed in numbers or random ass calls I get. So, his visibility is really dependent on his getting in touch with me! And when I am bored that one night, and go to text someone to see who is avail, who’s name do I see? NOT Joe FromTexas…because I didn’t put him in my phone, creating one less avenue to send a stupid ass text that I would regret.
I could be delusional. I could be completely fooling myself…probably am. But unlike Katniss in the Hunger Games, I don’t have 2 guys who want me. I don’t even have 1! So whatever delusions I have, I guess I’m happy with for now…