Real Valentine’s Day Cards

What do I mean by “REAL”? Well, all that lovey dovey shit that Hallmark or Joseph Gordon-Levitt’s character in 500 Days of Summer (when he’s STILL in love with Summer) is BS. Roses are red, my ass. Let’s get real (and like JGL’s character after Summer breaks his heart)….

Really, MEN?! I really want to know if you, ANY OF YOU, would ever have that balls (rim shot...) to say/give this...

Really, MEN?! I really want to know if you, ANY OF YOU, would ever have that balls (rim shot…) to say/give this…

 

If someone gave this to me, they would get back a slap. I don't care that it says I LOVE YOU....

If someone gave this to me, they would get back a slap. I don’t care that it says I LOVE YOU….

I would love for someone to actually give this as a reason to break up with someone ON VDay

I would love for someone to actually give this as a reason to break up with someone ON VDay

 

This is actually quite romantic....Not. No...Never

This is actually quite romantic….Not. No…Never

 

If you are dating someone who doesn't NORMALLY "let you finish"....peace the F out!

If you are dating someone who doesn’t NORMALLY “let you finish”….peace the F out!

 

At least he's being honest/say's he's sorry. Points for polite!

At least he’s being honest/say’s he’s sorry. Points for polite!

 

Classroom style, cutout, creepy as fuck cards! If someone puts any of these in your Valentine's bag, beware cause you might have a stalker in the bushes. Or just an asshole...

Classroom style, cutout, creepy as fuck cards! If someone puts any of these in your Valentine’s bag, beware cause you might have a stalker in the bushes. Or just an asshole…

 

 

 

 

 

 

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