What do I mean by “REAL”? Well, all that lovey dovey shit that Hallmark or Joseph Gordon-Levitt’s character in 500 Days of Summer (when he’s STILL in love with Summer) is BS. Roses are red, my ass. Let’s get real (and like JGL’s character after Summer breaks his heart)….

Really, MEN?! I really want to know if you, ANY OF YOU, would ever have that balls (rim shot…) to say/give this…

Classroom style, cutout, creepy as fuck cards! If someone puts any of these in your Valentine’s bag, beware cause you might have a stalker in the bushes. Or just an asshole…