You’ve been there. You know you have. And whether it’s shame or (more often than not) pride you feel as you slip out that door…you have to get home somehow, don’t you? Class, take notes, cause we’re in session!

1. You will always (and I mean ALWAYS) be wearing a super obvious outfit. No matter if your normal going out outfit is jeans and t-shirt and flip flops (and maybe that’s why you aren’t normally going home with someone..huh?), this will be the one night you are in your shortest skirt and sky-high heels. Because nothing says walk of shame more than someone at 10am wearing a Herve Leger bandage skirt and carrying/wearing some Carrie Bradshaw worthy shoes.

2. No matter what time your walk takes place, someone will always be there to spot you. And then either give you a knowing smirk or a look of disgust/“I know you are a trashy whore.”

3. If your walk is in fact the Drive of Shame, you of course will run out of gas and need to fill up at a gas station, thus prolonging the experience AND attracting more looks.

4. You will attempt to make your bed head not crazy, but that hair thing that was on your wrist last night is long gone!

5. No matter if you are able to get into the bathroom to try to wipe of your makeup from the night before or if you slip out before, you WILL have crazy runny makeup. Don’t fight, it will only make it worse.

6. It will of course be the sunniest AND coldest day ever. And sunglasses don’t fit into your cute clutch, so you clearly are blinded (not to mention the fact that you probably have a splitting headache from all those drinks last night). You didn’t want to bring a coat with you, as bars are usually pretty warm…so you are FREEZING, too!

7. Given our lovely modern technology and how much battery you probably used the night before texting with your friends while you were in the bathroom at his place, your phone is probably going to be dead. To bad you aren’t really sure where you are or how to get home…and of course the cab that stops for you WON’T take credit cards (as you obviously have no cash).

8. Make sure before you lock that door behind you that you have left NOTHING behind! I mean NOTHING. You do not want to be that girl who hightailed it out of there and then has to facebook or track the guy down because you left your favorite bracelet on his nightstand. And even if you are tempted to do that on purpose, STOP! Don’t do it. It is a MISTAKE!

Most importantly…

9. Be honest with yourself about the situation. If you want to actually see the person again, leave a note that includes your number…BUT, and this is a big but, don’t expect anything! The reality is that you most likely met this person, jumped into bed, and then shimmied right out. So step away from the facebook page, and live your life. Turn that Shame into a Strut and attract some attention! Enjoy the moment, but remember it probably only is a moment….