Who? Who the fuck is Nanazin Boniadi? Well, according to Vanity Fair, she was actually supposed to be Mrs. Tom Cruise #3 instead of Katie Holmes! But who is she? Well, actually you might recognize her from either How I Met Your Mother, where she played Barney’s girlfriend, Nora, or General Hospital, where she was Leyla Mir (I don’t know what she did on it though…as I don’t watch)….

So, basically Vanity Fair did this whole expose on how the third Mrs. Cruise came to be….Scarjo and Jessie Biel were ruled out, and they landed on Nazanin. Things were going great! She and Tommy “went out” and they “slept together.” And then they “started dating.”

And then, after two GLORIOUS months of “Dating,” Nazanin was in Telluride talking to Scientology chief David Miscavige and his wife, where she made the BIG, no, HUGE mistake that cost her Tommy’s heart! She said “excuse me” to Miscavige because he was talking too fast.
So off she went to Florida to clean toilets, and Tom and Katie “fell in love,” had Suri, and after 5 years of “marriage” got divorced. And Nazanin is best known for playing the girlfriend to a gay actor, Neil Patrick Harris, on a funny tv show…talk about some irony there…

She may not be as famous as Katie, but I think we can agree that she dodged a bullet…or a beard?