So you all remember M.A.S.H, right? No, not the tv show about the army doctors that was a groundbreaking account of war that was both comedic AND dramatic! No, I’m talking about the game M.A.S.H- you know, Mansion, Apartment, Shack, House…

Last week, I was wondering around Bev Hills, as I am CLEARLY so prone to do, and I stopped into a store and the woman said to me,

“May I help you?” SSG,” I’m just checkin’ things out.”  “Are you looking for something in particular?” SSG,” No. Well, yeah. Something… conservative. You got nice stuff.”  Woman in store,” Thank you.” SSG,” How much is this?”  “I don’t think this would fit you.” SSG,  “Well, I didn’t ask if it would fit. I asked how much it was.”  “How much is this, Marie ?” Marie, ” It’s very expensive.” ” It’s very expensive. SSG, ” Look, I got money to spend in here.” Marie’s friend, ” I don’t think we have anything for you. You’re obviously in the wrong place. Please leave.”

Ok, obviously that is a scene from Pretty Woman…So, instead of that little exchange happening, I decided to visit a store where a friend works. And while we were sitting there, she brought up M.A.S.H (because she really wants to marry Jack Porter from Revenge- No! Not Nick Wechsler who plays him, but Jack Porter the character.) And where else can you figure out who you will marry, where you will live, what your job will be, etc….but in the game of M.A.S.H! What, did you think I would say life? No! Mash it out bitches!!!

Well, The Future Mrs. Jonah Hill (my friend from the store, as she will now be known on this blog, due to my MASH suggestion for her hubby being picked) put a MASH bug in my head. The next day, at Happy Hour (were I walked in smack on the dot at 4pm…)I brought it up to my friend….WHO HAD NEVER HEARD OF IT!! She had never played MASH!!!

WHAT???????????????

So, obviously I grabbed some napkins and we played…And you all should, too! If you need help at remembering how to play, you can go here: Like Totally 80s- MASH Rules, except I play differently. The person whose life is being “foretold” (?) picks three things, and the “foreteller” (? sure!) picks the last one….Camp rules, duh!

Anhoos, the Future Mrs. Jonah Hill, was so enthralled by our MASH-tastic time together, that she invited me to a Lithuanian Festival over the weekend, with the warning that it would mean lots of beer drinking and lots of yummy food. Ok, I was in for Sunday!

So, Monday rolls around….And I guess this is the moment where I say to those nearest and dearest to me, this might be a tad TMI. SEE YA NEXT POST?

Alright, you’ve been warned….

So, Monday rolls around…Wait, SSG, are you skipping a whole day? WHAT?

No, so Monday rolls around, and let’s just say TFMJH (the Future Mrs. Jonah Hill) was in NO WAY lying about the beer consumption. And I mean that in a good way…in a do you mean SSG had a drive of shame on a MONDAY morning? Why yes I do! And in fact, the world somehow felt it needed to balance out the good, with some bad…as Mrs. Garrett would probably say.

So as I get dropped at my car, get in, I turn and realize there is green specs everywhere….what? Oh no, not specs…glass. My front passenger window was smashed! SMASHED to fucking pieces.

So not only did I get to drive home in yesterday’s outfit, I got to do it freezing my ass of with the window completely open, and a car full of glass. Whatever, windows can be fixed…in fact mine already is….