So there are some “benefits”…(haha, not really) to being an assistant, although, I did just return from a free pre screening of Friends With Benefits. Okay, before you groan, and say, “I saw that movie 6 months ago with Natalie Portman and that dude that married Demi Moore. It was called No Strings Attached,” think again. I was actually so presently surprised..I laughed…it was cute…it felt real…
It got me thinking though….For those of you that DID see No Strings Attached, obviously we learned that it is impossible to not want to love the one you’re with. I assume I won’t be spoiling it for you all if I say Friends With Benefits doesn’t ruin this theory. Problem is, does this really happen in real life?
As a sad single…I have enough trouble getting a guy to look at me! Let alone take me out on a date! So I get the whole premise of guys looking for something non committal and “easy.” The problem I have with buying into the whole happily ever friends with benefits after is that I don’t think it happens this way. I will speak honestly as a female and say it would be the woman in the situation that would fuck it up, get too attached, and scare the guy off.
But before all the crazy jezebelians out there attack me, I will say, stop, put down your torches first. And then, that this happens because of Oxytocin…no not Oxycotin. Oxytocin is a mammalian hormone that acts primarily as a neuromodulator in the brain (ummm….yeah…not sure either), also known as the “love hormone.” It is the cupid of hormones.
But for real, Oxytocin evokes feelings of contentment, reductions in anxiety, and feelings of calmness and security around the “mate.” Many studies have already shown a correlation of oxytocin with human bonding, increases in trust, and decreases in fear. Scientists have basically realized that when women have an orgasm, a hormone is realized and tells the brain, “Stay, cuddle, you like…you might love! He might love you too! Yea!” And ladies, this is in women…NOT MEN! So when a guy pulls away, it’s because his brain isn’t releasing any “love hormone” telling him to cuddle more. (Well this isn’t exactly true, but it’s produced far less in men than in women).
So, not really sure I can buy into the fact that a man and a woman can have sex without feelings…no matter how much Hollywood tries to convince me that there are girls out there that are that emotionally damaged by past relationships, the death of their fathers, the leaving of their mother and/or father, or for no reason at all. Maybe that is why gay guys can do it better, and lesbians shack up right away…science, who knew? (Why couldn’t they teach me this useful stuff in college rather than how to build a rocket?)