Not So Independence Day…or How Not To Look Like a Drunk Slut in Front of Family This 4th

As the first REAL holiday approaches (were you counting Memorial Day?) since I started this blog, I think it is important to note how much holidays can suck being single. Like, they are awful. With so many holidays as a single lady, I can’t be the only one that allows myself to envision the day going one way (you know, meeting the love of my life, or even the love of my night), except he never shows. And I am stuck on New Year’s Eve, Valentine’s Day, St. Patty’s Day, Mardi Gras, Passover (laugh if you must…but all you singletons out there know what I mean), Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, my birthday, and coming up on Monday, THE FOURTH OF JULY!

What's love got to do, got to do with it?


The day we “supposedly” gained independence. More like, I have too much independence, come on over! But this feeling can lead you SOOOOOO astray. [Imagine the purple/pink flashback clouds from Saved By the Bell…nb: really Bieber? What’s Tiffany Thiesen’s middle name?]

It was two years ago. My older sister was visiting from out of town for the 4th of July weekend. It was a glorious day…not a cloud in the sky! Perfect weather. Our morning started out great. Brunch at BLD, followed by some shopping. (Another sidenote here: as a longtime overnight camper, I find it so weird that there are sales and things are open on July 4th! I expect water balloon fights with British people, no matter how many years away from camp I am). And then we went to a beach party….that my brother, that’s right, my OLDER brother had invited me to…

No, it wasn't this hot, seemingly British guy BBQ...but, I want to go to there!

Where people seemed to have been drinking for hours before us. You know that feeling of walking into a room and realizing that everyone else is on a different level because they are drunk and you are not. So you overcompensate, and don’t take your time drinking cheap beer. Which is okay at first….

Mind you, I had not eaten or drunken anything since our meal earlier that day. My sister, luckily for her in this case, has a coke habit…diet coke habit! and had some soda. But I was existing on nothing at this point at that’s when the memories…..

    ….start….

      ….to……

      …..fade…..
        …..to…..

          …..BLACK!


A Black Hole...or my memory from July 4th, 2009

Mind you, once again, when you come back into consciousness and find out you:

1. made out with a cute guy who to this day I still wonder where he went (this was before I went to black)
2. yelled at a cop with an open container
3.lost your flip-flops and had to walk with out shoes
4. dunked your cell phone in sand
5. made out with some guy who clearly went to jewish summer camp and knows all of the same people you do…in front of your BROTHER and SISTER (the brother is the far worse one)… and all of everyone in Venice Beach during fireworks…

…this is when you wish you had only had some water earlier in the day and could have prevented the alcohol poisoning. So be safe this 4th of July! Don’t drink and drive, but also don’t forget to drink and drink [water]!

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