Part II: Long Distance Dud

Well the name of this post kind of gives away what happened, huh? Let’s rewind and review…like we were on a tv show and an announcer was saying “on last week’s adventure…..”


So, my manicurist set me up with a guy in Philly…we went out….we went out again….high school made out Titanic style….and then came time for me to return home to LA….

Ok, caught up. So I’ll just say I’m an idiot and should have known that this would go nowhere…could go nowhere, because the guy kept saying he had a nice time and “if I was ever in Philly…” Except, see everyone in my life IN Philly was SOOOOOOO excited and wanted me to date someone IN Philly and move back home, and have babies, and leave my actual life in LA. So, I, being the dolt that I am and trying to be so optimistic, I was like, no silly, let’s continue this. Whatever that means…

Well, it meant a lot of texting. And more texting. Oh, did I say we texted each other? Which is nice. Except for when you would normally get to the point of texting when you write “CU 2morrow” or “CU L8r” (I really don’t text this way…just makin a point). Because I was never C-ing him (or seeing him). So even though we “talked” every night for at least an hour….yeah, it went literally nowhere.

But I was actually traveling this past month, and I happened to have a 24 hour stopover in New York. Now if you know the geography of the east coast, you’re probably sitting there going “Hey girl, you probably had a booty call!” Well I tried. I told him far in advance. Than reminded him. Then said, hey you should come up to New York since I will literally be less than 100 miles from you. But no. No booty was had.

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And it was upon my return to Los Angeles that I realized how silly that was. Here was this guy, that supposedly liked me. Liked me enough to contact me at minimum for an hour EVERY evening (granted via text….but what are ya gonna do, it’s 2014!), but didn’t like me enough to essentially “tap that?” Yeah, I said it…tap that.

And when I asked him (ugh ok, texted him) this gnawing concern, he once again replied “If you’re ever in Philly though.” But, and I’m sure you guys realize this, I don’t live there. And really unless you have started dating someone in one city, they have to move for a job, or there is a realistic chance that either one of you could move to each others city, there is just NO point, NONE, to get into a long distance relationship. So after I pointed out how one sided that was of him, I proceeded to have the longest and most drawn out text break up. Because that’s the hazard of text based relationship. You really don’t get to type everything all at once, and even though you want to finish your thought, you can see the other person typing, so you hit send, but there is more you want to say! But you are really done….it’s over. but you can’t be to rude, because it’s in writing! AHHH…..

So moral of the story….have a radius planned for the distance you will travel while dating someone.


Yeah this is NOT what I mean!!

Yeah this is NOT what I mean!!

No, I kid. Who knows what the moral is. But I would like my next relationship to have a little less conversation, a little more action please…

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