Party Rockin’ on Your Phone Tonight: Sad Message-palooza

You know those nights when you walk in to da club and you are just on fire???!! No, me either. But I’ve seen lots of movies and TV shows where this has happened and heard accounts from much less single (or WAY more single..wink wink) friends. I am mostly kidding… I really am just talking about when you go out, you feel great, you look great, and the attention that follows seems to verify that. You are ON!

I imagine those nights to be like this..right?

I imagine those nights to be like this..right?

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Sad (and ok, I’ll be a bit Shallow) Message #7

So, #1 with this message, I got it on Saturday night, when I was out with friends. Not that I am glamorous or anything…in fact, I was trying to find the write guy to drop Carly Rae Jepsen’s “Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy, but here’s my number, so call me, maybe?” on….to be discussed at another time, possibly later on today, as I was not yet able to even get the words out (even though I had phone number in hand well, back pocket…

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How About We….

I can’t be the only one who is asked by EVERYONE, and when I say EVERYONE, I mean EVERYONE (yeah, that was a lovely convo with MY FATHER!), if I have tried dating sites. And being the sassy sad single Jewish gal that I am, it is always, “So have you tried JDate?” And imagine that in a nasally Jewish voice to get the full feeling.

Well, dating sites suck! They may be wonderful for some people, I just don’t think I am “some people.” Well I came across this article yesterday at work in my endless, online boredom:

So besides the douchey looking dude in the picture, I don’t know. Kind of makes sense. Could be as dumb as the rest of them…I’m looking at you OkCupid….but hey..what have I got to lose. So, hey, how about we…I don’t know..I’ll get back to you later.

Sad (and blabby) Message #5

Names and pictures have been hidden to protect the “innocent.” Nicknames have not. When a guy sends you this long of a message that really isn’t that interesting AND then also tells you that his nickname is “Speaks,” it really does tell you a lot…a lot more than what he blabbed on about.

Oh, and by the way, Yahoo answers let me know that MMA stands for Mixed Martial Arts…um, yeah…no…no thanks…no. And BTW, I always LOVE being called a pistol by people that aren’t 80 year old men who were around when saying people were “pistols” was actually a thing. When I walk back into my black and white movie, I’ll let James Cagney know that some other man called me a pistol!

The Time When a Dating Site Asked, “Ever wonder how picky you are?”

Thanks, OkCupid! Your wonderful selection is so great! And now you are calling me picky! Take a look at the bizarre-ness that they call the “Flowchart to My Heart.” Because we all know receiving creepy messages online isn’t romantic enough, now charts and graphs are really gonna make things sexy! Continue reading