In honor of writing my 100th post on Friday, which now means that this is my 101 post…which just makes me think of 101 Dalmations….which of course makes me think of Cruella de Vil…which of course makes me think of dying alone…I bring you 101 Reasons I Am Sad And [Still] Single.
Oh, this crazy bitch had no one that loved her either....
okay…have you ever asked a kid between the ages of 5 and 10 whether they have a boyfriend/girlfriend? if not, try it some time (I have..it is as hilarious as this story!). i have done this with several of the kids i babysit for, and, most recently, my 8-and-a-half-year-old cousin. the conversation is always the same, and it goes something like this (spot on!):
me: ben, do you have a girlfriend?
me: really? what’s her name?
me: how do you know her?
ben: she’s in my class.
me: that’s awesome. do you guys hang out a lot?
ben: nope. not at all.
me: what do you mean? you’ve never had a playdate with her before?
me: but she’s your girlfriend?
me: does she KNOW she’s your girlfriend?
me: you’ve never…mentioned this to her?
me: but she’s your girlfriend.
wouldn’t that be great, if we could just pick someone and DECIDE, without their consent, that they were our significant other? i am fascinated by the world of elementary school children in which this is possible.
It so would! So, Bradley Cooper, heads up! We’re engaged!
Surprise! The announcement will be in The New York Times and People Magazine next week!