I would assume by now (although, as my father always says “assuming is making an ass of u and me.”) you all know what PDA is.

Public Displays of Affection. Although to this Single Gal, in my single state, it feels more like Public Displays of “you are alone and we are not!” I can deal with the far to happy couple walking by me on a Saturday afternoon, the weird couple that chooses to sit on the same side of the table so we all have to look at their “love” and I can even deal with seeing annoying facebook pictures on my wall of you and your boyfriend that I have never met, girl from summer camp 12 years ago that I haven’t seen in 11 years.

As I was flying back from my memorial day vacay at home, (btw….still single. TLOML didn’t sit anywhere near me on either flight) I was flying back with a friend of mine. We both had aisle seats and wanted to sit across from each other, so we had to go through the annoying bartering process of switching seats. Once the last person got on the plane and we finally switched seats, I was settling down in 14D when my friend started laughing. “What?” I said turning to her. “I’m just laughing at what you are in for,” she said, pointing her chin in the direction of my rowmates….ewwww! Their armrest was up and basically I couldn’t tell where one of them started and the other began. Her head was wrapped in his arm, their thighs were touching and they both were holding onto each others legs for dear life…I vomit in my mouth a little just thinking about it. What got even worse was every few minutes, they would make-out for about a minute. Yea! Actual, pardon my Full House– esque use of the term, french kissing! In public…on an airplane!

That’s a no. I am sorry. I know you might love each other, Romeo and Juliet, but hold your horses there.

Because really, no one wants to see that. And that is really what PDA is all about. Bragging to the world that you are so freakin in love, right?!

And before you start thinking that PDA only refers to these types of in your face, visual antics….let’s address the hunny, baby, sweetie, sugars out there. I am sure you all have the friend in a couple that have “names” for each other that they feel the need to use in every sentence. Like, that awesome episode of The Office, where Michael and Jan have a dinner party, and it is non stop “Babe, this…” and Babe, that…” Ugggg!!!! How annoying. I had friends that were a couple a few years ago and it just got too annoying. Every single sentence out of his mouth was “My (for privacy purposes let’s say her name was Jennifer) Jennifer this…” and “My Jennifer that..” Dude, you don’t own her! She isn’t yours! (well, maybe not until you put a ring on it, buster!)

And I know what you are thinking. Singlegal, when you are not single anymore you will want to brag your love to the world like the rest of them. And maybe that’s true. But until then….P.D.Ewwwwww!!!