What’s In A Name?

The full quote being:

What’s in a name? That which we call a rose
By any other name would smell as sweet.”

(Yeah…I studied theatre…RE…in college…so sue me for the Shakespeare quotes and puns)

That being said, I don’t think Juliet (Juliet, ala Romeo & Juliet, said the above) knew anything about online dating!

Because if Juliet knew what would come in the onslaught of Match, JDate, OkCupid, etc, she would have revised what she said. I know, you’re thinking, wait…what? Juliet IS right though. A rose called trash is still a rose. And trash called a rose is still trash. BUT…in the online world of pick and choose, we aren’t dealing with 4D Aromascope when we check to see who looked at our eHarmony profile last night.

On my own OkCupid profile (yeah, I have one that I more keep up for my, as well as your, entertainment) I try to spell it out pretty clearly:

This is SARCASM if you can't tell...many can't. Many can, and choose to ignore it.

…yet somehow I still get bombarded by “nyctallguy”, “IAMAREALMAN4U”, “politicsnerd”, alifeoholic”, “funnyguy2336”, “SuperHotMale”…and so on. In the online dating world, I think if Juliet would have asked “what’s in a name?” she wouldn’t have found her Romeo. In fact, if some guy messaged me and his name was RomeoRandomNumbers…I would run. Or at least not respond to his message.(Unless he looked like my new crush).

Hopefully, it's not Iwantinurpantz69

So what would be better? I’m not really that sure. I keep thing back to You’ve Got Mail , when Meg Ryan and Tom Hanks are discussing her guy’s “handle” (this is when Meg still doesn’t know that Tom is the guy who she is having an online relationship with). Her’s is “Shopgirl” as she owns a bookshop. Makes sense. It’s cute. Simple..I like it. But Tom’s is NY152:

And in all honesty, it isn’t that bad of a name. Sure, it is a little bland and generic, but it isn’t trying too hard and it isn’t gross (I will not even go there with the stuff I have seen. I get it. You are looking for sex, creepy asshole with sexual references in your username). Nor is it a lie. Because, really, SuperHotMale, your picture doesn’t match your name. So why do you lie like that?

So, I feel like it boils down to this:
1. Don’t make your name creepy. Really think it out as to what it could mean, lifeaholic…cause I’m not sure on that one.
2. Cut out the sexual references if you are ACTUALLY looking for something resembling a date or a relationship.
3. If you are going to do something like REALLYHOTGUY (but, why? DON’T!), be a really hot guy! And don’t be one of those creepy guys that holds up his phone in the mirror and lowers his boxers so you can”see his abs better.” No.
4.Be yourself. It may not be flashy. But hey, who doesn’t love Tom Hanks? And he isn’t flashy!

Really, Guys? Why? This is not attractive for ANYONE!!

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