Sad, Single Defintion: Smalled Your Back

Chuck Bass can small my back any day of the week!

Confession: I Am An Online Ageist

Yeah, that’s right. I am an online ageist. But I mean this in a good way. I mean this in the way that you all understand why To Catch A Predator with Chris Hansen had a reason for existing (oh Chris Hansen…you really cheated…online…and got caught…really?).

On all of the online dating sites they ask what your age range is, which makes perfect sense. It would make sense that as a 24 year old, I would ideally (IDEALLY…notice the italics) date someone a little older, but not too old. Like say 26-29, maybe even 30. Ah, if only it was that easy. Continue reading

Safe Words

Get your mind out of the gutter! No, I’m not talkin’ about crazy spanking, S & M, Eyes Wide Shut, “don’t know what’s happening because it’s all so crazy that we need a special word to tell if you’ve gone to far” safe words.

You know some crazy shit's about to go down....


I’m talking about when you’re out at a bar with a friend and some guy starts talking to you… Continue reading

Sad (and creepy) Message #1…

do you like ice cubes in your milk?
Just wanted to say I find you very attractive. If I got to know you, I would invite you over for a romantic dinner and as soon as you arrived, I would pull you close and whisper in your ear “I have a swanson tv dinner in the freezer with your name on it” and then I would proceed to fill a wine glass with welch’s grape juice”