OkCupid

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Sad (and blabby) Message #5

Names and pictures have been hidden to protect the “innocent.” Nicknames have not. When a guy sends you this long of a message that really isn’t that interesting AND then also tells you that his nickname is “Speaks,” it really does tell you a lot…a lot more than what he blabbed on about.

Oh, and by the way, Yahoo answers let me know that MMA stands for Mixed Martial Arts…um, yeah…no…no thanks…no. And BTW, I always LOVE being called a pistol by people that aren’t 80 year old men who were around when saying people were “pistols” was actually a thing. When I walk back into my black and white movie, I’ll let James Cagney know that some other man called me a pistol!

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The Time When a Dating Site Asked, “Ever wonder how picky you are?”

Thanks, OkCupid! Your wonderful selection is so great! And now you are calling me picky! Take a look at the bizarre-ness that they call the “Flowchart to My Heart.” Because we all know receiving creepy messages online isn’t romantic enough, now charts and graphs are really gonna make things sexy! Continue reading →

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Sad (and bizarre) Message #2

hi
i am jonah
22
jewish
loves to cook
work in jewish non profit
love to be with family
would like kids and marriage
YES I AM NOT JOKING
was a teacher and am going back to school
very blunt
know what i want
cant date anyone without a 5 yr plan

(you can’t make this shit up…)

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Sad (and creepy) Message #1…

do you like ice cubes in your milk?
Just wanted to say I find you very attractive. If I got to know you, I would invite you over for a romantic dinner and as soon as you arrived, I would pull you close and whisper in your ear “I have a swanson tv dinner in the freezer with your name on it” and then I would proceed to fill a wine glass with welch’s grape juice”

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“The Jew with No Geography”…aka Landed Softly Dude

Having given up on J-Date some 6 months ago, I really wasn’t that into the whole online dating thing. There were far too many old creepy guys with age ranges of 20-26 that had “Flirted” with me on Jdate (more on that later), and I had had enough. So a few weeks ago, over dinner with friends, one of my girls (henceforth known as V) was bragging about all the men she had met on OkCupid. Feeling frustrated with the non-existent dating scene for me in Los Angeles (just because I work in entertainment doesn’t I want to DATE someone in entertainment…give me a nice doctor or lawyer!), I finally figured what the hell and gave it another shot. Continue reading →