Real Valentine’s Day Cards

What do I mean by “REAL”? Well, all that lovey dovey shit that Hallmark or Joseph Gordon-Levitt’s character in 500 Days of Summer (when he’s STILL in love with Summer) is BS. Roses are red, my ass. Let’s get real (and like JGL’s character after Summer breaks his heart)….

Really, MEN?! I really want to know if you, ANY OF YOU, would ever have that balls (rim shot...) to say/give this...

Really, MEN?! I really want to know if you, ANY OF YOU, would ever have that balls (rim shot…) to say/give this…

 

If someone gave this to me, they would get back a slap. I don't care that it says I LOVE YOU....

If someone gave this to me, they would get back a slap. I don’t care that it says I LOVE YOU….

I would love for someone to actually give this as a reason to break up with someone ON VDay

I would love for someone to actually give this as a reason to break up with someone ON VDay

 

This is actually quite romantic....Not. No...Never

This is actually quite romantic….Not. No…Never

 

If you are dating someone who doesn't NORMALLY "let you finish"....peace the F out!

If you are dating someone who doesn’t NORMALLY “let you finish”….peace the F out!

 

At least he's being honest/say's he's sorry. Points for polite!

At least he’s being honest/say’s he’s sorry. Points for polite!

 

Classroom style, cutout, creepy as fuck cards! If someone puts any of these in your Valentine's bag, beware cause you might have a stalker in the bushes. Or just an asshole...

Classroom style, cutout, creepy as fuck cards! If someone puts any of these in your Valentine’s bag, beware cause you might have a stalker in the bushes. Or just an asshole…

 

 

 

 

 

 

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56 Days To Find A Lover….

“The problem is all inside your head”, she said to me
The answer is easy if you take it logically
I’d like to help you in your struggle to be free attached

Whoops, I changed that last word! But for real, New Years, that stupid, stupid holiday is 56 days away….56 short days now because of stupid Day Light Savings! And obviously people do start discussing New Year’s Eve plans now because things get busy and crazy with Christmas and Hanukkah and Kwanza, and Thanksgiving, and my birthday (hint hint). And as this season is upon us, so is the time for cozy sweaters, and hot chocolate, and cuddling by a fire…with someone special. Someone who I currently don’t have! Continue reading

HO-lloween: A Cautionary Tale

Happy Halloween, Ladies & Gents! After what feels like a week full of Halloween & Hurricanes, basically scary stuff…tonight is actually Halloween. And while many feel the need to wear as little clothing as possible, let WonderWoman be a warning to you:

WOnder WOman

I don’t know how NAKED Wonder Woman will save you…uhhhh, don’t really want to think to hard on that!

Continue reading

Sad Single What Should I Be For Halloween?

Halloween! The time for couples to be obnoxious about their coupledom, and single girls to skankify there otherwise wholesome selfs. So I come to you fellow singles, successful couples, and all that in between, with the age old question:

What should I be for Halloween?

No, seriously! I am at such a loss..so I come to you my readers seeking guidance and a good, not too slutty, but yeah, slutty costume! So comment below, tweet me @sadainglegal, email me or come out of the bushes Gerald and just say it to my face! All ideas welcome, even you crazies put there…the winning idea will be worn by non-celebrity me!!!

Sad Single Labor Day Weekend?

So it’s almost September! Summer’s almost over, and I’m guessing you didn’t succeed in the whole “boyfriend by labor day thing” that your mind had planned…

So what now? Get drunk, and hookup at all your labor day BBQs? No!! Stay classy my friends! Because who knows? Maybe you need to set a new goal? Boyfriend by Rosh Hashanah? Boyfriend by Columbus Day?

At the very least, just don’t regret your partying, and STAY HYDRATED!!! No one wants to hook up with the drunken mess unless they are looking to date rape you….rut roh (and no, that does not count as your new boyfriend!!)