Dreaming of the Day When Someone Calls Me Their “Perfect Bitch”

Not exactly….but yup…In the latest Kartrashian News:

 

Kanye West wrote a song about his fake LOHL (Love of His Life), otherwise known as his “Perfect Bitch.”

Maybe I’m just too sad and single to appreciate that! Or maybe that’s WHY I’m single! That’s it! Because I don’t want some misogynistic asshole calling me his bitch….!!!!Winner, Winner, Chicken Dinner! Bingo!
So from now on, I am going to work hard to perfect my “Perfect Bitch” persona….

 

Read more about the SCINTILLATING saga of Kanye and Kim from TMZ, who LOVES to bow down to all things Kuntrashian….

                                      Kanye West: Kim Kardashian’s My ‘PERFECT BITCH’
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Sad Single Ramblings (brought on by Laundry Boredom)

Well, hey there readers! How are you doing on this lovely, albeit boring Saturday (boring for me…and probably you if you.LAME!! are reading this on Saturday!)? So, being my sad, single self….I am having a massive laundry day… And of course what comes on, but He’s Just Not That Into You….because somehow the TV gods even know that clearly He’s just not that into me and they are trying to give me every possible sign…

So, and obviously this requires some reader PARTICIPATION here, when is your “he’s just not that into me” moment? And beyond that when do you have the moment of “Hey, dude, shit or get of the pot!!” I know, my romanticism is clearly is what has me sorting whites from colors all by my lonesome today, but in a real attempt at learning, I sincerely ask….when are you done? When is the moment that you stop and give up hope, and is that in fact when something happens? And in that case, is it worth it then?? Ok, I’ll stop my ramblings…only because I need to change loads. So please leave some opinion, thought, question, hate comment, note, suggestion, link, picture, ANYTHING! I beg of you!!!!

 

 

101 Reasons I Am Sad And [Still] Single

In honor of writing my 100th post on Friday, which now means that this is my 101 post…which just makes me think of 101 Dalmations….which of course makes me think of Cruella de Vil…which of course makes me think of dying alone…I bring you 101 Reasons I Am Sad And [Still] Single.

Oh, this crazy bitch had no one that loved her either....


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Be-Moaning the Truth

The only thing more depressing than hearing your neighbor having really bad sex on Valentine’s day, and be alone in bed at the time….

…is to be putting your makeup on for work at 9am on a Friday morning, and hear your other neighbor presumably having shower sex. And I say presumably, as he is Spanish and I could not understand anything. And sad, because…well,

    1. His name is Fabio (yeah! people are really named that)
    2. I thought he was gay, as he really cares about his flower/wall things that keep me from pulling into my driveway without hitting them….(that’s what she said…?)
    and
    3. Our bathrooms are the size of a closet…not walkins, which I do have and they are bigger. That HAD TO HURT!


Well, regardless, I wasn’t able to hear the music I was listening to over the splashing and weird Spanish sex noises. Who’s ready for some awkwardness in the laundry room?

MIA: Felicity Induced Netflix Coma

So I know it’s been a few days…but Felicity just became available on Netflix. SO, yeah. I am in a Felicty Coma. I am almost done! What a marvelous, phenomenal show! How I miss you Felicity, Ben, Noel, and everyone else at University of New York…

I am even watching an episode as I type this!


and I’ll hopefully awaken from my Netflix coma soon. And write about my non dating woes (Why didn’t I ever have a Ben and a Noel to make a choice between? I didn’t even get a Ben OR a Noel!!)…

Oh well! At least I have better hair!

Fallacy-Buster: Guys Don’t Make Passes At Girls Who Wear Glasses

Not anymore! We're all fair game!!

Guys Don’t Make Passes At Girls Who Wear Glasses. I know you have heard this before…there might have even been a Full House episode about it (which means every other show of that era did one as well). You might have even been that girl who wasn’t hit on and blamed it ON your glasses because you were always told that guys wouldn’t hit on you. Well…. Continue reading

Presented without Comment…or Smell….

We think it’s one of the funniest things in the history of mankind. Even the idea of a fart makes me laugh. Saying the word ‘fart’ makes me laugh. I have iFart on my phone. I have remote whoopee cushions. Farts. To me, there’s nothing funnier.”

    -One of the Sexiest Men Alive, George Clooney