Confessions

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Be-Moaning the Truth

The only thing more depressing than hearing your neighbor having really bad sex on Valentine’s day, and be alone in bed at the time….

…is to be putting your makeup on for work at 9am on a Friday morning, and hear your other neighbor presumably having shower sex. And I say presumably, as he is Spanish and I could not understand anything. And sad, because…well,

    1. His name is Fabio (yeah! people are really named that)
    2. I thought he was gay, as he really cares about his flower/wall things that keep me from pulling into my driveway without hitting them….(that’s what she said…?)
    and
    3. Our bathrooms are the size of a closet…not walkins, which I do have and they are bigger. That HAD TO HURT!


Well, regardless, I wasn’t able to hear the music I was listening to over the splashing and weird Spanish sex noises. Who’s ready for some awkwardness in the laundry room?

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MIA: Felicity Induced Netflix Coma

So I know it’s been a few days…but Felicity just became available on Netflix. SO, yeah. I am in a Felicty Coma. I am almost done! What a marvelous, phenomenal show! How I miss you Felicity, Ben, Noel, and everyone else at University of New York…

I am even watching an episode as I type this!


and I’ll hopefully awaken from my Netflix coma soon. And write about my non dating woes (Why didn’t I ever have a Ben and a Noel to make a choice between? I didn’t even get a Ben OR a Noel!!)…

Oh well! At least I have better hair!

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Fallacy-Buster: Guys Don’t Make Passes At Girls Who Wear Glasses

Not anymore! We're all fair game!!

Guys Don’t Make Passes At Girls Who Wear Glasses. I know you have heard this before…there might have even been a Full House episode about it (which means every other show of that era did one as well). You might have even been that girl who wasn’t hit on and blamed it ON your glasses because you were always told that guys wouldn’t hit on you. Well…. Continue reading →

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Presented without Comment…or Smell….

We think it’s one of the funniest things in the history of mankind. Even the idea of a fart makes me laugh. Saying the word ‘fart’ makes me laugh. I have iFart on my phone. I have remote whoopee cushions. Farts. To me, there’s nothing funnier.”

    -One of the Sexiest Men Alive, George Clooney
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Confession: I Am An Online Ageist

Yeah, that’s right. I am an online ageist. But I mean this in a good way. I mean this in the way that you all understand why To Catch A Predator with Chris Hansen had a reason for existing (oh Chris Hansen…you really cheated…online…and got caught…really?).

On all of the online dating sites they ask what your age range is, which makes perfect sense. It would make sense that as a 24 year old, I would ideally (IDEALLY…notice the italics) date someone a little older, but not too old. Like say 26-29, maybe even 30. Ah, if only it was that easy. Continue reading →