In honor of writing my 100th post on Friday, which now means that this is my 101 post…which just makes me think of 101 Dalmations….which of course makes me think of Cruella de Vil…which of course makes me think of dying alone…I bring you 101 Reasons I Am Sad And [Still] Single.
Oh, this crazy bitch had no one that loved her either....
Hey, Amanda Bynes….Lindsay Lohan called, and she wants her identity back!
One of these things is not like the others, One of these things just doesn't belong, Can you tell which thing is not like the others. By the time I finish my song?
(Bonus points to whoever knows what those lyrics are from!!) Continue reading
The only thing more depressing than hearing your neighbor having really bad sex on Valentine’s day, and be alone in bed at the time….
…is to be putting your makeup on for work at 9am on a Friday morning, and hear your other neighbor presumably having shower sex. And I say presumably, as he is Spanish and I could not understand anything. And sad, because…well,
1. His name is Fabio (yeah! people are really named that)
2. I thought he was gay, as he really cares about his flower/wall things that keep me from pulling into my driveway without hitting them….(that’s what she said…?)
and
3. Our bathrooms are the size of a closet…not walkins, which I do have and they are bigger. That HAD TO HURT!
Well, regardless, I wasn’t able to hear the music I was listening to over the splashing and weird Spanish sex noises. Who’s ready for some awkwardness in the laundry room?
So to elaborate further on my post from the other day, In This Situation, I Will Gladly Be Called A Slut…, I wanted to explain my self a little further, rather than just saying bad and mean names at Rush Limbaugh for fun. But before I do: Fat, Stupid, Idiotic, Gross, Weaselly, Oily, Cantankerous, Hypocritical, Bald, Annoying, Closeminded, Asshole, Shithead, Loudmouth, Jackass.
Self-assured Prick!
But if Rush is going to call me a slut, then I get to call him a fat, ignorant, moronic pig…okay?
THE SAD ADVENTURES OF A SINGLE GAL 